Monday, March 16, 2009

I Love Quilting!!




This is a quilt that I just finished for my sister-in-law Jamie. She has three beautiful girls and now just had her first BOY!! We are so excited for her. She asked for a different kind of quilt. She wanted one that had more muted colors, but I couldn't help myself. I loved all these fabrics!! If you look close they have bugs, and dinosaurs and BOY stuff all over it!! I love it. When I was making it, I kept thinking how much Marshall would have loved this quilt. So, Jamie I hope that you are okay with it. I had a blast making it. I am attaching a few more photos for all your sisters that didn't get to see it before I sent it off to you. I love you and can't wait to see your beautiful baby Cole!!














This shows the back with all the cute BUGS!!




This is just a closer picture to show the cute fabric!!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

A Boy and His Dog!!

I know I don't blog that often, and for that I am sorry. I took this picture this afternoon because I couldn't believe my eyes. My son was playing the piano and his dog was sitting right next to him faithfully supporting his practice! My son's dog is the most lovable idiot you will ever meet. I recently finished the book, Marley and Me and thought to myself that my dog is much worse than Marley, for heaven's sake Marley was potty trained. I can handle anything, if the dog doesn't poop in my house!! Then I walk up stairs from folding the laundry and see this...







How am I supposed to be angry with a dog that loves my son so much that she can't leave his side when he practices the piano!! I mean really, look at that face!! I am also a little sentimental these days with Marshall growing up so fast. He is taller than I am and almost smarter than I, almost being the operative word. He recently got into a gifted program for junior high that will mean that next year he will attend West High School!! He will still only be in 7th grade, but he attends his classes at West! I really am struggling with this concept, my little boy at a HIGH SCHOOL!! He seems fine, but mom is not handling the transition well.



I am loving the teenage boy, the soon to be teenage girl is another story however!! For Valentine's Day, Marshall may have given an anonymous girl some delicious homemade truffles, homemade by ME. The drop off was a little dicey, but really fun. Here are the said truffles that I made for the adorable girl...






These were so fun to make and so delicious!!


Sorry this post is a little random, but I never posted a picture of the quilt that I made my mom for Christmas and I know that there is at least one person that has been waiting for me to post it so here you go...




Friday, January 23, 2009

IT IS GREAT TO BE ALIVE!!

Okay, I know that I don't blog that often and I don't really have that great of a reason most often, but this time I do! AND I have a great reason to be blogging again. It is a well known fact that I am a democrat through and through even to the chagrin of my parents and many loved ones. I am blogging for two reasons today and President Obama, oh how I love the sound of that, is only one of the reasons. Despite the actual horrible air that is permeating outside all over Salt Lake City, I am breathing much better than I have in many years for two very good reasons.

Reason #1- Barack Obama is President of the United States.
Reason #2- I received a pacemaker three weeks ago.

I will spare you all the diatribe I had planned on going on about FORMER President Bush and why I am so excited about the new administration because if you know me you have heard it; however, I would love to share with you about how great my new life has become. I received my pacemaker three weeks ago and I truly feel like a new person. I have more energy and life and think that if I had known I could live like this I would have had it put in years ago. Ryan of course continues to tell me that I am now a robot with my new device. There are several quirks to having a pacemaker that I am still getting used to.
*I can't use headphones with my ipod
*I can't answer my cordless handheld home phone
*I can't snow blow or mow my lawn (like I was doing that before!)
*I can only use my cell phone in my right ear
*I have to be patted down at the airport I can't go through security

Things like that aren't really that big a deal, the one I hope will go away is that I can't lay down on my left side. All things being said and done I feel like a completely new person. I am never short of breath or dizzy any more. This is a new lease on life for me. So talk about HOPE and CHANGE, I think I have it all covered!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

What's scarier a Witch or McCain?








So, my kids were obviously a witch and McCain for Halloween! Kate had decided a year ago that she wanted to be a witch so her costume as been one in the making ever since. My mother being the best NaNa ever made her that beautiful cape you see that MAKES the witch so witchy and the rest of the costume was put together from different stores when I would find it throughout the year. Marshall had thought that he was too old to go trick-or-treating so he wasn't going to go until one of his good friends asked him to go with him. He was going to go as Obama so Marshall said "great I'll go as McCain!" They were adorable actually and got a lot of attention. Well, the sad part of it all was that they both decided to go trick-or-treating with their friends and not with us this year. So, Ryan and I got the boot!! We were unceremoniously discharged from our duties as parents and asked to go to dinner and drop them at their friends houses! Well, how do you like that. I immediately thought that I needed to go buy Geritol and some Viagra for Ryan because APPARENTLY we are OLD!!! I was really sad about this. My kids didn't want to trick-or -treat with me...those dots are tears......when did I get to that age? When did I become that parent? Some of my friends still have young kids and the ones that don't are, well, older than me. I had my kids young and then only had two, two beautiful kids, but only two. So, I am realizing that I am going to be an empty-nester in only EIGHT YEARS!!! Do you know what that means? I have to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. That suck!
Well, enough of my rant. Here are a few pictures of my cute kids who don't love me anymore and are growing up way too fast. Oh, and some pictures of a few of the quilts that I have been making. Apparently a good past time since I am OLD!!






Marshall as McCain saying, "My friends!"










I know that she is a witch, but I think she is way too cute to be a real witch!!




















This is a quilt that I made for Kristen's new baby that she is expecting in December!
















This is a quilt that I made for Katy's new baby that she is expecting in December!














I don't remember if I already showed you all this quilt, but this is a quilt that I made my kids life long babysitter and nanny, Amy for graduation!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

DC "not down computer" but as in Washington!!

So, it is official that I have not blogged forever and I am sorry about that. Really I don't have a good excuse other than at first I didn't have anything worth blogging about, then I just got out of the habit. So with my head down in shame, I return, to tell a tale of travel. We took our children to our Nations capitol for a week and what a week it was. We had so much fun and saw so many wonderful things. If any of you know my husband, which I am sure many of you do, allow me to describe what it is like to go to Washington D.C. with someone like him. You know that movie Vacation where Chevy Chase is kind of an idiot and does all that dumb stuff on their way to Wally World. He knows absolutely nothing about where they are going and then when they get there Wally World is closed and he goes ballistic! Ryan is NOTHING like that. Going to Washington D.C. with Ryan is much like going with Rand McNally, Rick Steves, and a Docent all in one. There really wasn't much he didn't know. It was amazing. Everywhere we went he was a wealth of knowledge. He gathered crowds at almost every museum that we went to because people either thought that he was the docent giving the tour or they just wanted to hear all the information that he was spewing forth for all to hear.



We walked everywhere and the weather was beautiful. We ate in the parks everyday and the children chased squirrels. It really was rather picturesque. We did all that we could squeeze into 6 days, so here it goes...Library of Congress..Supreme Court..Union Station..National Gallery of American Art..National Portrait Gallery..Holocaust Museum..Air and Space Museum..Archives Museum..Jefferson Memorial..White House Garden Tour..Mount Vernon..Old Towne Alexandria..Monticello..University of Virginia..The White House of the Confederacy..The Museum of the Conferedacy..U.S. Capitol..World War II Memorial..Vietnam Veterans Memorial..Lincoln Memorial..Arlington National Cemetery..Washington Monument..Forrest Service National Headquarters..Bureau of Printing & Engraving..Renwick Gallery!! WOW!!

What a great time. We loved spending time with the kids and spending time in our Nation's Capitol. It was just buzzing with the election only a week away.










Marshall was named after the Supreme Court Justice John Marshall, here he is standing next to a statue of John Marshall. There were many pictures and statues of John Marshall and I made Marshall stand in front of them all for a picture, he got so sick of it. I thought it was cute and funny!














Here the kids stand next to the President of the United States!! (We can only hope this is true by Nov. 5th!)












Me and the kids in front of the National Monument!






The kids and the Jefferson Memorial








The kids and the White House. We got a great tour right on the White House grounds, so the kids really are that close to the White House. We were able to walk almost up to the front door, only problem was there was a secret service guy telling us we couldn't go in. Oh, well.





The fam in front of George Washington's house. This was my favorite day. What an amazing estate! We got to see the very room in which he died and his property was so beautiful. This is a must see if you find yourself back east. We learned so much about our first President.








Cute rascals at the reflecting pool, I am sure not reflecting on what a great trip they are having; however, maybe when they are older they will remember how great it was.








Look how small the kids are with good ole Abe! I tell you these monuments are amazing.










Wednesday, August 6, 2008

The Soundtrack of Our Lives!!

We took our family to see James Taylor in concert two nights ago. People often and when I say people I mean Heather and Byron often make fun of us and say that we never really listen to a variety of music, which might be true. I say not, but why bicker and argue. However, Ryan and myself have been life long listeners of James Taylor. I remember growing up and listening to my parents listen to James and hearing Fire & Rain in the background of my childhood. As I got older James was always a part of my life and when I started dating Ryan I can remember the exact moment I was sitting in his Jetta listening to James on his tape player and he was singing along to Copperline and I thought to myself, I am going to spend the rest of my life with this man. So it was obvious when I sat at my first James Taylor concert in California 7 months pregnant with Marshall that I wanted James to be a part of my children's lives. Once my kids were born Sweet Baby James was the first song their father sang to them and the last song he sang every night before they went to bed, so it seemed apropos that they both fell asleep at the concert when James Taylor sang Sweet Baby James.

James Taylor has been the soundtrack of our lives and has been there for us through many ups and downs. It was quite an evening to finally share it with our children and know that his music has passed through so many generations. So, thank you James for giving of your music so selflessly for so many years. And for "Showering the people you love with love!"


Monday, July 28, 2008

Hotter than H E double hockey sticks!!!

Okay, so if someone would like to tell me exactly how I grew up in Las Vegas please feel free!! I am so sick and tired of the heat I think that I am going to SCREAM!!! When I say that I am sick of it I mean it. I am sick of going from one room to the next in my 1945 house and gasping for air because my HUGE air conditioner can't keep up. I am sick of my butt sticking to my leather couch. (wait, okay I am not naked on my couch, so it really is my legs that are sticking, but I am sick of in none-the-less!) I am sick of finally getting cool at about 4:30 in the morning and then it getting HOT again around 7! I am sick of having to go somewhere and getting into my car and thinking that I am going to die because there is no air and it is roughly 145 degrees in my car. I am sick of my grass looking dead and of course I am not going to water it to death, what a waste. Most of all, I am sick of food not sounding good because I am just to stinkin' hot to eat!!

So, this post is mostly me venting about how much I hate the heat. I don't know how I ever survived the heat in Vegas. If Ryan ever says that he has been offered a million dollar a year job in Vegas/Phoenix I will have to say have a great time, send me the checks! I am done with it and I mean D O N E with it. Just so you know, I am not an idiot, I know that it is going to still be hot like this for at least another 5 weeks or so and then I also know that I will post something very similar in the winter telling you all that I am sick of the cold. That is the reason that I tell Ryan he married me, I am passionate about everything.

So, in light of the heat wave, if that is what you want to call it. We took our kids up the mountains to get away from it all. We took them to Silver Lake for a picnic dinner and walk around the lake. It was just what the doctor ordered. Here are a few pic's from our nice evening.






One of the only times Marshall is not bothering his sister Kate!!




Isn't he so stinkin' cute!!


Speaking of Stinkin' Cute...

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Check out my Slide Show!

MILEY MONTANA!! oh and the beach...

So, as you all know I have an adorable daughter that LOVES Miley Cyrus, Hannah Montana, whatever her name is. Anyway, when she found out that she was coming to Utah's Stadium of Fire she went nuts and wanted me to "get tickets." As though that was the easiest thing to do. Well, Heather and I did our best on-line to "get tickets" like the rest of the mom's did and the tickets sold out in the first two hours. I told Kate I was sorry, but that I would be taking her to see Wicked in Los Angeles. She said it was okay and she understood and still thought that I was the best mommy in the world.

Well, little did she know that I actually "got tickets" (I am doing air quotes because it makes the story better!) on KSL.com. We kept it a secret from her. We were supposed to be driving to our beach trip on the 4th so we packed up the car and headed down "to the beach!" After a lovely stop at Grandma Patsy's we headed on our trip. We passed the stadium and were going up toward the temple "to park." Kate says, "Mom, did you know that Zac got tickets to see Miley?" (oh, those are real quotes.) I told her how great I thought that was for him and I hoped he had a great time. Kate then BURST into tears. Very unlike her. Saying that she was okay just sad that she wasn't going to the concert and upset because Zac had rubbed it in her face that he was going and she wasn't.

I was shocked. She was crying... I was thinking how glad I was that we "HAD TICKETS," Ryan then parked the car and said, "Kate, why don't we walk it off." She was so upset she said she didn't want to and wouldn't get out of the car. We finally got her out of the car and I told Ryan to give her the "TICKETS!" She went stone faced. She couldn't move. She said, "tickets, what tickets?" I then told her that we had had tickets for months and wanted to surprise her, she couldn't talk the whole way to the stadium. Needless to say, the "SURPRISE" went off without a glitch and she had the time of her life. It is definitely a memory I will never forget, one I hope she will remember for years to come.

Like I said we were on our way to the beach. That was the truth. We stayed at Grandma Patsy's that night and got up at 4 am and headed to the beach. We went with Grandpa Lynn and the entire gang. There were 25 of us. It was a cousin heaven. I think it was the first time I have ever spent an entire 9 days with my kids on vacation and not once did they say they were bored!! It was GREAT!! Here is a run down of what we accomplished while were were there.

*Three Major League Baseball Games
*Two Rounds of Golf (Ryan and Marshall)
*Disneyland (All 25 of us!!)
*Wicked (just the girls, it was great!)
*Doughnuts EVERYDAY!!
*Grocery Store EVERYDAY!!
*Shopping
*Reece's Peanut Butter Cup Smoores!!

Fun was had by all and now we are home and the kids start school in 3 weeks!! Summer is almost over. Here are a few pictures in the slide show at the top, enjoy!!

Monday, June 23, 2008

There's No Crying In BASEBALL!!!


I have to say, I may be shedding just a few tears. Baseball is finally over. My feelings are joyful that it is over because baseball was six, yes, six days a week. That included a double-header every Saturday; however, I do miss watching Marshall play. Isn't he just the cutest thing?!!
His days now consist of golf, golf, and more golf. He plays golf I would say almost six days a week and sometimes twice a day!! He played 27 holes just the other day! I tell you that child is addicted to golf. The only bonus is that there are no stands to watch until he gets his PGA tour card. He has league and tournaments and then practices all the time. When I asked him the other day what he wanted to do after college he said, "you know mom, I think that if I practice really hard, maybe I could play golf for a living." I then asked what his "fall back" would be and he said DOCTOR!! Oh my! He is going to have to choose. I told him you can't be a doctor and a professional golfer, to be one or the other you have to dedicate all your time to do well at either profession. I said that he could probably be a Lawyer as a "fall back" profession. I mean how hard can that be? HE HE HE!!!

So, summer is busy, busy, busy. I feel like I have way more time when the kids are in school. Marshall is busy in golf and Kate has tennis, swimming, and a math class. I for one am pooped!! I am ready for a vacation; however, the thought of a vacation makes me sweat because I am sure that if I actually took one it would be more work than it is worth. They always are. So, I am thinking of shipping everyone off and staying home. So, if there are any takers for my kids and husband let me know. They are adorable and lovable (the kids I mean) and they eat almost anything (the husband I mean). You know my number, give me a call if interested.


Side note...I know that there are those of you out there reading my blog and not commenting. Shame on you!!! I would love to hear from you. I feel very alone with only 2 comments on my blog. Yes, all of my self-confidence comes from my blog and nowhere else, so, I want to hear from you.




Thursday, June 12, 2008

IT IS WAY BETTER GETTING IT FROM YOUR PEEPS!!


Okay, for those regular readers of my blog. I received my first blue box from Tiffany & Co. for Mother's day; however, the sweet story behind it was there was no sweet story (see post and tears below). I am not ungrateful for the gift from Ryan I feel a little jilted that he wasn't a part of the purchase. ANYWAY...

I have the best peeps in the entire world. I was in Vegas when I first chose the necklace that "said husband" bought for me for Mother's day. There were actually TWO necklaces that I loved and had a hard time choosing which one "said husband" was going to buy. So for my birthday, my two best friends in the whole world took me to Park City for dinner and a movie. When we were eating dinner, they said, "Present Time!!" and I kid you not they pulled out a BLUE BOX!!! Yes, my friends, my peeps, bought me the other necklace that I loved! I am telling you, I finally got that Blue Box feeling that I was wanting. I was almost in tears. I was so excited I couldn't believe how thoughtful my friends were. All I could say was, "how are you going to top this next year!"

Not to always quote movies, but...

"Yeah, I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something , I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention." --- Dumb & Dumber

Thank you Judy and Dawn for always paying attention to me and listening to me and making me feel important. You are are the best friends I could ask for. Thanks for making my birthday so fun. (I know this really is just going into the void space of the Internet because neither one of you ever read my blog, but it needs to be said)

Saturday, May 31, 2008

For Kristen!!

So Kristen (my wonderful step-sister-in-law) or as I like to call her, my sister, has been the inspiration for many things in my life. The newest of which is my inspiration to learn to quilt. She has been this amazing quilter for years and I have always wished I knew how, so I took it up! I have a dear friend, Diane (not my sweet mom), that took it upon herself to teach me how. With her guidance and my mothers sewing skills, yes, skills, I have been quilting up a storm. My first quilt I blogged the square a while ago. I finished the quilt and then sent it out to be finished on top and apparently the woman who does it is raising the silk worms or the lambs for the wool to make the thread to then use to quilt on the top of my quilt. Either that or she thought that it was sooo beautiful that she is claiming it as her own and taking it to the world fair and winning a blue ribbon as we speak!!
Anyway, while I wait I decided that I would just make them on my own. So yes, I talked my dear sweet husband into buying me the machine of my dreams. Here is a picture of my next creation. It is a quilt that I have made for my sweet little niece Reese!! She will get it when I see her at the beach in July. I don't think that my sister-in-law checks my blog much so I think it will still be a surprise. Anyway, there are still many mistakes because I am learning, but I think that it is adorable. It is as soft as can be and I sewed a jingle bell in it so it makes noise! How fun is that.


The next quilt is a quilt in the making. I am making it for my other sister-in-law Tricia who is having a baby. I have a sneaking suspicion that she is having another boy so I have been making this quilt for her. If I find out differently then I will make another one, but I just have a feeling that it is a boy. Anyway, I think that it is just so fun with all the Dick and Jane fabric.

Anyway, this post is for Kristen to tell her thank you for all of your inspiration! You are the best. I only wish you lived closer so that we could quilt together. Now you only have to tell me what you are having and I will quilt something for you. I know that it won't be as gorgeous as what you can make, but I have learned in the short time I have quilted that it is all about the time and effort that goes into the quilt. It is all about the love and thought that goes into it. I can't wait to make one for you!



These are some cute pictures that I forgot to blog of my mom and Kate. My mom took Kate to go and see Annie when it was in town and these are from their night on the town!!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Rocky Mountain High COLORADO!!!




This raging river is amazing and beautiful and a site to see; however, I tell you not quite a site as the beautiful, funny, smart, engaging, entertaining, and enjoyable lady that Sawyer has been dating!! Ryan and I took the kids to Colorado this weekend to go see Mike, Mikey, Michael, SawDawg, Sawyer and what a treat is was to visit him and see exactly what he has been up to. Let me tell you she is beautiful and I have been thinking that if things don't work out we may just have to keep her and get rid of the Dawgler.

The trip started out slow for we hit traffic, traffic, and then more traffic. Then we went into Spanish Fork Canyon and thought it would be a great idea to just put our car into park for about 2 hours. After we got to know all the cars around us and the kids got to run around for a while we finally rolled into Mike's place around 2:00 a.m. For all of you out there with kids, visit with me for a while that enjoyable fairy land where your kids think that you are going on a 5 hour drive and it turns into an 8 hour drive and they love each other so much that they giggle and laugh the whole way telling each other all the way that they love each other and can't wait to get out of the car so that they can HUG!! Yes, that was my car. I am so lucky to have such children that never fight or say things like, "stop touching me," or "No" or "that's mine, that's mine, that's mine." I really love when my children repeat things over and over and over again because hearing it just once is NEVER enough.

We did get to Colorado safely which is important. We got up and Mike made an amazing breakfast (maybe if my husband had been single longer he would have learned how to cook). Then we went up to Aspen. Talk about gorgeous!! We had a blast. Here are a few pictures from my camera phone because I forgot the camera. We went to John Denver's Sanctuary. Apparently that is what you do when you go to Aspen. I didn't know that John Denver was from Aspen and asked Ryan if he knew that and he said, "I don't know but I do know that his Grandma's feather bed is nine feet high and six feet wide and soft as a downy chick!" That man kills me.

















Hanging out of the rocks of lyrics of John Denver Songs!!



















We came back and had Bethany over, yes, the better half of Mike. Bethany came over and we had dinner then walked down by the river and went to a movie. The next day the boys went golfing and the girls went shopping and fun was had by all. It was a trip to remember. Colorado is breathtaking and I can see why Mike stays. He has quite the life there. He lives in the cutest town and is in walking distance to just about everything. Now he just needs to figure out how to keep this Bethany and all will be well.






Kids along the Colorado!!
















Mike and kids on the bridge of the Colorado!!






Bethany, Kate, and Mike


In front of a huge totem pole.
















Ryan, Kate, Marshall, and Mike in front of Mike's house and in front of Mike's POS of a car. Seriously, he hit a deer and backed into a pole and hit something else, but it is a diesel and worth a ton so he won't sell the stupid thing. It is a serious POS he can't even get in the driver's side he has to go through the passenger door. Whatever Dawgler!

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Breakfast at Tiffany's???




For Mother's Day this year I got my very first official "Blue Box"!!! Yes, that is an actual picture of my blue box from Tiffany & Co. The reason that I blog about it is not to brag about it, (which is so me to want to do), and don't get me wrong I am bragging about it too because I LOVE IT!!

I would love to share the exchange in which my Tiffany's moment happened.
Emily: (sent an email of the Tiffany's website) Hey honey, I thought that just in case you were wondering what might be a great gift for Mother's Day, here is an idea. I love you tons. Emily.
Ryan: Knock yourself out. Happy Mother's Day.

Yes, that is the end of the entire conversation. I tried to explain to him that it really is the thought that counts and I didn't care so much about the gift and that all he had to do was go to the website and click. I had tried to make it easy enough so that very little effort would have to be made on his part.

However, to my sad dismay he refused. So, yes, I did get my first blue box for Mother's Day, but I bought it, I picked it out, I called Tiffany's, I told them where to send it, and when it came I gave the blank card to Ryan and said, "here did you want to say anything to me on the card." His response....laughter.

I know wipe your tears. I just had to get it off my chest. But the real reason that I did was to remind myself that is the very reason I married Ryan. I know that most of you have heard this story so sit tight while I tell it again.

When I was first dating Ryan I was dating someone else. The kindest nicest guy I have every met, (for the purpose of anonymity we will call him Shawn). Shawn and I had gone to Vegas for the weekend and I was blow drying my hair. Shawn was in a completely different room of the house. I yelled his name, within seconds he was standing in front of me asking me what he could do for me. I was just wondering what time it was. I thought to myself, wow, he is really attentive. Not long after that I was in Vegas with Ryan. I was blow drying my hair yet again and Ryan was in the same different room so I thought to myself that I would do a little experiment. So I yelled his name. I hear him yell back, "What!" I ask what time it was and he yells, "Don't you have a watch?" I remember smiling and thinking to myself that this was the guy for me.

I told my mom this story soon after and she asked me why I would rather have Ryan and I said, "Shawn would give me the world if I wanted it and wait on me hand and foot, but I don't want that I want someone that I know loves me the world over and would give it to me only if I came and got it myself."

So, this Mother's Day was just another small reminder of why I married Ryan and didn't marry Shawn. I have to continue to remind myself that's what I wanted, but when I look into his big blue eyes it isn't hard to remember. Oh, and the fact that he still worships the ground I walk on...that makes it easier too.



This is the cake that I made for Ryan's mom on Mother's Day. We had a great meal at her house on Sunday and I brought dessert. Ryan said that this is the best cake that I have ever made. I am not sure if he was trying to make up for the Tiffany's thing or if he really loved it, but it was pretty tasty. It was a lemon lime cake with lemon curd in between the layers with butter cream icing. It was very spring and refreshing.

I hope that you all had a great Mother's Day. I am still on my Stephenie Meyer high because The Host was fabulous!! I loved the book, if you read it please post a comment because I am dying to talk to those that read it. And it has been a while since I had a movie quote, so if you made it though my rant here it is...

"She is expecting."
"What, a social security check!"